LOGO : Site title

I t was a perfect late summer afternoon and my wife and I were taking the tot for a stroll through Little India. We gazed at colourful sari shop window displays and breathed in spices drifting out from the grocery stores and buffet restaurants. We came to the crosswalk where Ashdale intersects with Gerrard, and I pressed the button to activate the crossing lights.

Once the cars in the lane closest to us came to a stop, I eased the stroller over the curb and into the street. We were almost halfway across when Mark McKinney, member of comedy troupe the Kids in the Hall, almost ran over my wife, my son and me with his silver Yaris.

Okay, I'm not one hundred percent sure that it actually was Mark McKinney, but he did look a lot like him. I certainly don't want to slander the man's good name if it was in fact someone who just happened to bear a striking resemblance to Mark McKinney who almost killed my entire family. At least I'm sure that the car in question was in fact a silver Yaris.

Time seemed to slow down and all I could focus on was the guy who may or may not have had Mark McKinney's face as his car sailed right through the crosswalk. His expression seemed to be one of mild concern, mixed with a bit of curiosity. Time came crashing back to normal and the only thing I could do was shoot the finger at the sporty mid-sized car disappearing down the road.

Well, that's not exactly true. My normal reaction in a situation like that is to back up the finger-shooting with a very loud, very complicated string of choice four-letter words, but my lovely wife was present. For some reason I don't feel so bad swearing at jerky driving behaviour when it's just me and the baby. I just can't help it, I feel like the little guy who has to stand up to defend himself and the rights of pedestrians everywhere, and if that means my son hears a few salty expletives in the name of justice, then so be it. There have even been a few occasions where a road-side brush with death has caused me to unleash such a barrage of the seven words you can't say on television that bystanders have actually cheered. Obviously, they too must have faced similar trials but were just too timid to fight back.

If my lovely wife is present, however, I make sure to put a clamp on it. It's not like she doesn't sometimes enjoy cursing like a dock-worker herself, it's just that she's afraid that one day I'll mouth off at the wrong person and they'll slam on the brakes, throw it in reverse and then practise doing donuts on my head. If I'm forced to choose between my wife's stern (but caring) disapproval and letting a dangerous driver get away, I'll have to make sure I zip it. At least when she's around.

The sad thing is that I experience an episode like this almost every week. Even though I cross only at stoplights and clearly marked crosswalks, I always feel like I'm playing a life-sized game of Frogger whenever I step into the street with the stroller. I make sure to check for traffic, but there's always a tense moment when I'm not sure if that oncoming car is really going to come to a complete stop. Sometimes that driver gives you no indication that he or she sees your intent to cross until they slam on the brakes two feet away from you. It's as if there's some mysterious quirk of the universe where the combination of a baby stroller and flashing orange lights creates a massive localized blind spot directly in front speeding cars. I know that's not covered in The Driver's Handbook.

One that is covered in The Driver's Handbook, however, is the fact that all drivers are compelled by law to stop their cars at marked crosswalks. In fact, the Ministry of Transportation website states:

"...the Transportation Statute Law Amendment Act, 2005, clarified the requirements for drivers to stop and wait for pedestrians and crossing guards at intersections, pedestrian crosswalks and school crossings. The fines for drivers who fail to stop or yield the right-of-way to pedestrians were increased, as were the number of demerit points assigned to a driver convicted of these offences. While the increased fines (which rose from $60 to a minimum of $150 and a maximum of $500 – doubled if the offence occurred in a community safety zone) are meant to act as a deterrent and impress upon drivers the severity of these offences, the increased demerit points will help the ministry identify and track these drivers. Ministry staff can initiate remedial measures to improve the drivers' behaviour before their careless driving results in a tragedy."

(Source: http://www.mto.gov.on.ca/english/safety/orsar/orsar05/foreword_2.shtml)

The fact of the matter is that most drivers simply aren't paying enough attention when they're driving, and while it would be nice if my foul-mouthed reprimands or the hefty fines handed down by the police had some effect on road safety, I'm fully aware that some people probably won't learn that particular lesson unless they either have a tragic accident or a very close call.

In the recently published Traffic: Why We Drive the Way We Do and What It Says About Us (Alfred A. Knopf/Random House Canada, 2008), journalist Tom Vanderbilt explains that a major psychological factor in many traffic problems is that a driver experiences a sense of human disconnection inside their vehicle. You start to see other cars as entities unto their own, and you lose sight of the actual people driving those cars. This is also true of the relationship a pedestrian has with vehicular traffic. Drivers and pedestrians see each other as obstacles or opponents and not as real people, and and as a result fail to give each other the respect that we all deserve.

Vanderbilt recommends pedestrians always make eye contact with drivers at intersections. With this in mind, Vanderbilt suggests that drivers and pedestrians foster a greater connection with each other through increased eye contact. Think about how uncomfortable you feel when a complete stranger looks you in the eye. It can be a little unsettling, but doesn't it instantly focus your attention on that person? Vanderbilt recommends that pedestrians always make eye contact with drivers whenever possible at intersections, and since my near-miss with a famous Kid in the Hall, I've found that it actually works. You'd think that a big blue baby stroller edging out into the street would be enough on its own to impress upon a driver to come to a complete stop, but it turns out that simply staring them down is more likely to do the trick.

Unfortunately that would not have helped me the time my son and I were almost run down trying to cross Queen Street East at Greenwood Avenue. We had the green light as well as the pedestrian crossing indicator. Traffic was at a complete stop in both directions. We stepped off the curb and without any warning, a black convertible sports car decided to run the red light, rip out into the middle of the intersection, pull a severe U-turn and narrowly miss me and my son by a couple of feet. It happened so fast and I was in such a state of shock that it took me a good 10 or 15 seconds before I could work up the rage to swear like a maniac at the top of my lungs. When I safely got to the other side of the street, the only pedestrian to see what happened came over to see that we were okay and to join in on bad mouthing the bad driver.

In a case like that, I somehow don't think that the eye contact trick would have made much difference. It just happened too fast and it was obvious that the driver had no thoughts about anything other than breaking the law and getting to whatever obviously important social engagement he needed to attend. I also don't think that my being mouthy and frantically shooting the finger actually did any good whatsoever. The driver certainly didn't stop and apologize.

While it may be a perfectly legitimate way of processing the shock of the situation, and boy does it feel satisfying to let fly all those bad words, in the end the only thing I know for sure that my behaviour is providing a poor role model for my son. Perhaps it's time that I concentrate less on getting road revenge and more on making sure that Jack grows up knowing the ins and outs of traffic safety. Being able to curse a blue streak won't keep him from getting hit by a car, but knowing how and when to cross the road will.

It's terrifying to think no matter how cautious you think you are, there's always a chance that a terrible accident might happen, but ultimately, you can't let that keep you from crossing the street. Sometimes that's where the beer store is.