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I'm a believer in that African saying, “it takes a village to raise a child.”

Margot McKinnon (photo by Mimi Choi)

I spoke to Margot McKinnon, founder and director of Body Harmonics last December. We met for lunch at Faema Caffe, downstairs from Body Harmonics’ flagship location.

Before we talk about Body Harmonics, tell me about being a mother.

I became a mum 2 years ago. And I’ve been running Body Harmonics for 10. We’re actually celebrating our tenth year this year.

Boy or girl?

Little boy. Luc. He’s great. I truly feel it’s impossible for me to have a bad day with a little person in your life. He goes to daycare full time and loves it – except at drop off in the morning. I would love to be able to spend a bit more time with him, but I feel like the time we do spend ends up being more magical because it’s more limited than if we were together all day every day. Our time is our time, whether we are grocery shopping or reading a story or scrambling eggs together. I feel really present when we are together and totally engrossed in the moment. There’s no better feeling than this as far as I’m concerned.

My husband David is unmatched as a partner to me and father to Luc. I wear many hats at my business and as a result, home responsibilities are shared and when things come up suddenly, David is usually the one who juggles around to make it fit. I know that I could not do what I do in the way I do it without such an understanding and supportive partner behind the scenes. To boot, David also oversees all of the graphic and environmental design at Body Harmonics. Many projects over the years would not have been realized without his expertise. I often joke that I will go to my grave indebted to him.

People often ask me how I manage things and for me it comes down to two key components. One is my commitment to finish what I start and to continuously refine our process; this aspect of my work really fuels my creativity. Second is being surrounded by people who really want to help keep my family life so enriching and Body Harmonics a success.

What do you miss when you’re away from Luc?

I think I miss eating with Luc a little bit because I often work a couple of nights a weeks. But it means he has daddy nights and then mummy nights and one Gaga and Papa night [Margot’s parents]. When David and I decided to try to have a child, I always knew it would be like this. I am also a believer in that African saying, “it takes a village to raise a child.” I want Luc to have a strong bond with his grandparents. He has his little routine with them that is totally separate from what he does with us. My parents love having him and he loves being with them.

When you say you knew it would be like this, is it working out the way you expected it to?

I really had no expectations. I was just really looking forward to having a child. I had Luc when I was 37 and I really felt like it was the right time. David and I were really ready (as ready as you can be!) for our new responsibility, but neither of us felt crazed about it. Once Luc arrived life took on a new rhythm, but it felt very natural. Thankfully, I never experienced that new-mum total anxiety. I believe it’s because I had so much help. In many instances I looked to David for guidance in the early days and my mum and dad went to huge lengths to help us. It just worked, that’s all I can say.

When you say you didn’t have the new-mum craziness, do you think that might have happened if you had him earlier?

Maybe, I really don’t know. I feel that the support was key. I was never left to sort of just figure it out by myself.

I’d like to turn to your business and look at aspects of motherhood and your business. You were saying that Body Harmonics is celebrating its 10th year. That’s a real testament to any business.

I know! It has literally flown by.

How did it get started?

First of all, I had no idea I would end up in this field. I have a master’s degree in adult education with a focus on how people learn. I tripped on Pilates by mistake. I went to an introductory workshop to see what Pilates was all about and just kind of got hooked on it. It’s not that I fell in love with Pilates at the outset, there was just something pulling me towards it. I started studying it and I believe it was my innate love of and fascination with movement that kept me with it.

When we opened Body Harmonics, Pilates was relatively unknown as a form of physical conditioning. I had taught around the city for a couple of years previously, introducing Pilates programs to various fitness clubs and clinics. I had a partner at the time, and we decided to put down roots somewhere, and that somewhere was here. We chose this building specifically because it has fairly good access for wheelchairs, scooters, etc. We have always offered programs for neurologically disabled people so access and parking were key issues.

I think it’s quite amazing that you had prioritized those issues. I don’t think I thought twice about stuff like that until I became a mother, and I’ve heard similar thoughts from other parents. You had a lot of foresight because there are very few locations like this in the middle of the city, the free parking, the elevator being so big, the hallways so wide. Were you lucky or did you look around extensively?

We didn’t look around that extensively but kept seeing the space for rent sign here. When we signed the rental agreement, the area around Christie and Dupont was not much of anything. Loblaws had just gone in recently, it was much more industrial than now, and the space available was raw: no walls, no nothing, it was just a floor and windows and an outside wall. That was it.

Did that make sense for you?

Looking back the move here seems like it was destiny. David designed the space, led the renovations and helped us create a workable environment on a very tight budget. He’s been involved all the way along. I think that’s one of the things that has made life and work so seamless for me. Our live/work/live lifestyle is not for everybody, but it works for us. In many ways Body Harmonics would be nothing of what it is today without David’s expertise and vision.

When I think of the early 90s, I sort of think about how Madonna was making yoga trendy. Did you feel the effects of that trend?

No. I am never very savvy about trends.

So you did this on a gut instinct?

I suppose so. I know Pilates has become very popular. It was just a bit before the explosion into the mainstream that I began teaching. Really though, all that has evolved at Body Harmonics began more on a whim.

What gave you the confidence?

It sounds so ridiculous, but it was probably my naïve belief that determination and commitment lead to success. I’ve always worked that way. I just had an idea that has evolved and clarified tremendously.

Did you have a business plan?

Not really, just an idea of what we wanted to do here.

You did it on instinct?

Yes, I guess I would have to say it was instinct. I had built somewhat of a client base, so I wasn’t starting from absolute scratch. That fact alone probably accounts for the lack of anxiety when we opened. If you truly believe in what you do and you’re willing to work hard, I don’t see how something could really fail. That’s probably simplistic, but I believe passion for whatever it is you’re doing is the key.

Were you scared in the early days?

No.

That’s amazing.

I know that sounds silly, but no, it never occurred to me, actually.

Would you say that the progress of the business has been steady?

I would say it’s always been sort of an upward, consistent type of growth. However, since the launch of our revamped teacher training program three years ago things have really sped up.

So that provides another revenue stream. Was that the turning point for the success of your business?

Yes it does, but I wouldn’t say it was the turning point for success. The re-launch helped us clarify what we do and it has allowed us to become known very widely across Canada.

It’s interesting that you say that your growth jumped about three years ago, and that’s basically when you were an expectant mother. How do you see that time period?

As crazy! Chaotic, you know. But one thing that I think has been an asset to me is just sort of embracing that chaos. I’ve never been a believer in the work-life balance rhetoric. I don’t use that terminology, ever. I think if you’re really alive and engaged and enthused about what is in your life, a sense of balance or evenness can only be short lived -- I don’t know when people have this balance in life anyways. Constantly striving for that can make you nuts!

How do you stay sane, then? Or, do you think that’s the philosophy of your business?

I think in a way it is because it’s always busy. Anyone who owns their own business knows that, it’s 24/7. And I’ve just never fought that. I always say to myself: okay, here we go. Mind you, it would be impossible without 200% support at home. Because I have to drop things and come in and teach for someone who’s sick or whatever it is. So that’s my work/life balance, I guess, that’s my safety net: the privilege to be able to revel in the chaos.

Do you end a day and say, I just didn’t give Luc …

I have, I definitely have.

How do you reconcile that?

I remind myself that nothing can be more than it is, that everything happens for a reason and I check with myself to see if I did all I could do on that particular day. And if he goes to bed happy, it’s okay. I think there will come a time when I’ll have to make some more careful choices, but while he’s little like this now…. He’s a happy kid. We’re happy, so it works. One of my biggest hopes for Luc is that he grows up to love people and the world that he lives in and that he embraces being in that world with a sense of wonder. I feel that’s an important experience for him to have from the very beginning. So, for me to be there, or somebody else who loves him to be there, I hope [that approach] will prove positive for him. I hope that having many people love him and care for him will play a part in that development.

It goes back to your earlier reference that it takes a village, and I guess all we can do is hope because there’s no such thing as the perfect set of rules. But there’s a barrage of media, and I find the messages are a bit oppressive, and then there’s the whole trendiness of parenthood.

I was just going to say something on [the issue of oppressive messages]. When I was pregnant, I read those pregnancy books, and I made myself crazy. I hadn’t eat enough one day, and I came home, I pull out the book, [which says,] if you don’t eat, you’re starving your child. I ran downstairs and ate half a brick of cheese, thinking, Oh, my God! And then I thought, hold on here, which is worse? This anxiety that I’m not feeding my kid, or, the fact that I didn’t have enough cheese today?

That’s a really interesting perspective, Do you think, if I project 18 years or whatever from now, what I’m doing now has to feed that?

I do, I do. I always remind myself that I am raising an adult not a child. That informs my interactions with Luc 100% of the time. I try to treat him as I would like to be treated.

I think that’s a really important way of looking it. I think I feel the same way, but I’ve never articulated it that way.

I really try to take my cues and listen to Luc for what he needs. Of course, he can’t tell me everything, and of course what he wants is not always what he needs. And of course I do not always have the “correct” answer. That said, I try to pay attention to him and really listen and observe the cues he gives me. We’re not good at that in this society. We are never really taught to listen or observe thoroughly. It is considered too passive. It is not considered a valuable skill to develop.

You raise a really interesting point that most of us are not good at listening and it’s obviously not encouraged, despite the fact that we’re surrounded by outstanding educational institutions and that we assume that everyone is reasonably educated. Why do you think we have such barriers in our society?

When I say poor listening, I am referring to how we listen to and observe ourselves first and foremost. We all need a lot of practice at this and where we need to start is with ourselves. For me and in my work as a movement educator, I see the scenario play out as people move. Instead of listening and observing and actually feeling how movement is produced in the body, most people simply impose external expectations on themselves and try to externalize their experience of movement. It’s like moving is almost an out-of-body experience.

I believe it is often the same with parenting on many levels. Instead of paying attention internally to our experience as parents and our interaction with our children, we look outward for advice, validation, expert opinion and the latest research that’s available. I am not saying research and information are not important, they are powerful tools that we need to draw on to help us pay attention in an informed way.

Do you think in terms of parenting we have an insecurity, a lack of confidence about our own ability?

I think the media tells us we should be insecure as parents. When I hear a story on the news, I turn it off because I listen, then I start questioning, and that makes me anxious. It is when I feel anxious that I can’t be a good parent. When I feel that, I think, no [I don’t want that]. I like to think that if I’m feeling good, and I’m getting a good reaction from my child, something can’t be that wrong. When you start taking all these outside influences and worrying incessantly, you can’t listen and observe well – especially to yourself.

But we all want a balance between valuable information and our own instincts. Like, the baby should be sleeping on their backs. That made a huge impact on infant deaths. It’s a tricky thing, to recognize what is significant information, because that’s an example of something you wouldn’t know instinctively. That’s what freaked me out in the early days, to recognize what is significant.

For sure. That’s a good point. There’s obviously information that you need. However, there is a lot of conflicting information. We’re fed all kinds of information for which we have no skill at filtering and we are taught not to trust or pay attention to our intuition. We need to learn to take in what is useful and be able to work it into our own experience. I don’t think that is the message that is communicated.

What kind of feedback do you get from your clients that has made an impact on your business?

I get messages such as, “I feel better”; “I’ve never felt this part of my body move or work before”; ”I feel different.”

I believe strongly that our responsibility as teachers of movement is to help people get in touch with themselves as movers. There is something called the kinesthetic sense that it sometimes referred to as our sixth sense. Basically, it is how we sense ourselves in space and how we sense ourselves as we move. This kinesthetic sense is terribly underdeveloped for most people and, as a result, we go through life incredibly detached from our bodies. Everyday I am in awe of the complexity of human movement and I hope to share that sense of wonder whenever people are ready for it. It comes down to teaching people how to listen and feel from the inside out. It is important for people to deconstruct and understand what they are doing when they move. Making movement meaningful is key.

What do you mean by meaningful?

As adults we need to understand the whys or we lose interest. With our approach to Pilates we are always searching for ways to make people curious and inquisitive about movement so their interest in movement grows. As people begin to understand more about who they are as movers and their ability to connect kinesthetically builds, movement-based activities become integral to daily life…and meaningful movement as a way of life is a huge component of health and well being.

For example, as people learn more how their back actually works, and what it means to feel stronger in certain areas, and more mobile and supple in other places, a mental change is also taking place and they become more empowered. I find that aspect of my work fascinating.

What are the most common issues you see?

Low back pain is number one with neck and shoulder problems a close second.

Among women?

In our studio we see more women than men with back pain, but that is probably because about 75% of our clients are women.

Are most of your clients also mothers?

I don’t know that. I wouldn’t say; it’s a broad mix.

I never had back issues until I became a mother. Do you think a low back problem is physiologically part of being female, or do you think it reflects a woman’s place in our society, the roles and responsibilities?

It’s interesting because I have a book that talks about the emotional connections to different types of pain, and low back relates to feelings of powerlessness. I cannot prove any connections myself, but I can definitely tell you that I see lots of mothers with low back pain for whom feeling powerless is all too common.

It’s so significant.

It’s huge. This kind of connection between how we move and how we feel and how we connect to ourselves is the reason I teach Pilates. When we connect to ourselves internally, and learn how to pay attention from the inside out, we cannot help but feel powerful. Know thyself, says the proverb, no?

It’s so profound.

It probably sounds too profound, but that’s how I feel about it.

I think that’s also an issue in our society that there isn’t enough emphasis on the physical and mental combination.

Absolutely true! There’s a great movement educator. His name is Hubert Godard. In his work he has seen many people either in psychological therapy or in need of such therapy. By restoring movement and changing people’s relationship to the ground, need of psychological intervention has often dissipated. In fact, the woman I was just working with, she hasn’t come to that point yet, but I hope that one day she will.

You’re looking forward to that.

While I try to avoid projecting onto her experience, I look forward to that for her. I’ve never had serious physical issues, thank goodness, but I have had many opportunities to restore and better my movement patterns. I felt great through my pregnancy. And I have felt great throughout this period of change and growth in my business. I attribute how I feel to the way I move. Most of the time I feel great.

Did you take time off after your son was born?

No.

Really?

I actually taught a lecture one week after he was born.

I can’t imagine.

It was one of those situations where I really felt like I had no choice. It was three hours, so I went in to the studio and then came home right afterwards.

How did you feel?

I was very upset about it. Um [long pause], but it worked out. I came back to part-time teaching about three weeks afterwards. I can’t remember how much I worked throughout that summer; it was quite regular but not full time.

Did you know you were going to come back that soon, or did you think, I’ll see how I feel and come in when I’m needed? Did you have a plan?

I can’t remember, actually. I did plan to come back to teach some classes without a long break but, I honestly can’t remember.

I guess that means it worked for you, being at home and working.

Yes, but only because David could be so flexible in the first few months.

Would you say that your approach to your business has changed a lot since you’ve become a mother?

I think it’s starting to change now. I love working and working hard, but I also love my family. I now feel a real drive, a need, really, to spend more time at home. So I need to start working more intelligently, rather than working so hard.

Do you know what kind of changes you want to make?

They’ve already started, actually. It’s a funny thing, as it’s evolved in the last three years, I’ve had a lot more significant help behind the scene. Ironically, though, with more help, there also seems to be more work to do. We just had our holiday party on Sunday, and I said to everyone, Okay, we’ve had all this change in the last couple of years. So the motto for 2007 is refinement of the changes, to really just make it more of a smooth running system that has a lot of pieces working, and a lot people organizing things besides just me.

Does that affect the size of your business? At one point you may have thought I want this business to grow as big as it can be, and maybe at another point, I have to manage the growth a bit. Are those issues?

Yes. I’ve always wanted to have a business that was really small and dynamic and energetic. I’m not really interested in being the biggest. There’s something about the cohesion of the group and knowing everybody, and really working together. I don’t know if you can do that as a big organization.

That’s a tough question, isn’t it?

Yes. I guess you don’t know until you have both experiences. We’ve opened a second studio this fall [on Eglinton] and it’s been great, but that’s enough right now. At least for this year, to refine those two studios, and really focus on our teacher-training programs and refine our systems so that everyone is really able to do what they do the best. Because that’s the other side of my business that I’m really, really interested in is the development of my staff. That is probably the closest to my heart. I’ve had so many wonderful surprises of what people actually evolved to in personal and in professional ways. I’m really committed to that because I know that the strength of Body Harmonics really lies in the people who are working [there].

You mentioned that you started out with a partner. I gather it’s no longer a partnership.

It was about three years ago.

Did that end amicably?

I suppose it was as amicable as such matters can be. I wish her well. She’s a gifted teacher. It’s just we had different visions for the future.

It’s sometimes a tough experience for women to have. It’s tough not to get too emotional to have to say, it’s better if we take separate paths. There’s conflicting issues for women as business people. We’re almost like pioneers, not to sound sexist, but men are more comfortable with that attitude.

I agree completely. I admire men in the way they deal professionally. It is simpler and more straightforward.

I think a lot of women start out as partners because we want that support system from the beginning. When I started my web site, I didn’t have a partner, but I started discussions with another woman, and very early on, she decided she didn’t want to commit. I remember thinking, I feel alone.

I would say that was the same for me. I love the idea of a partner, but I don’t think I will go down that road again.

It’s a really tough issue for women because the role models for women are so few. We’re encouraged and raised with the idea that we should have a support system around us.

I hadn’t thought of it that way.

Well, maybe we can expand on that a bit. Can you tell me about the people who inspired you in developing your business?

One. And he didn’t own a business, he was a manager I had working in a restaurant. His name was Jeff, and I can’t remember his last name. I ran into him a few years back, and I did tell him he inspired me. He always put his staff first. He would roll up his sleeves in that kitchen, if someone got sick or didn’t show up, always with a positive outlook. It just made it a great place to work. I never intended on a business, I never intended to manage 15 people. But I often think back to him because I thought he was really effective, and it made us work effectively, and it made work fun.

Would you say there are women personally or that you’ve heard of who have been inspirations. I find your choice of a man is curious. You don’t have a female role model?

I don’t. It’s too bad.

It’s just the way it is. When we were talking before about women as business partners, I think we look to each other for support or inspiration or something. And there probably aren’t enough to look towards.

I never thought of it that way.

It’s not that I think that any woman in power should be a role model, but when there are women in that position you think that path would be more defined, someone who has gone down that path a little bit ahead of you.

I hate to say it, but I think I’ve had more examples of women in power that I’ve chosen not to emulate. I’ve learned a lot about how to be a leader from bad examples of women leaders, and that’s just my experience.

I guess it becomes a situation where you think you can take a page from them and make your own decisions as a result.

Yes, certainly. It’s partly about understanding what is going on when people, and women in particular, lead in a way that holds others down. There’s the Queen Bee syndrome that goes something like this: I had to trudge, so dammit, you’re going to have a hard time, over my dead body am I going to make it easy for you. Part of my master’s degree was in women’s studies, and there was a lot of discussion around such psychology and how it can play out. I would say, sadly that has been more of my experience.

It’s probably true for a lot of men as well. What’s next for you?

One thing I look forward to is [a program for kids], and I have no idea what it will look like. There’s such a huge need for movement education, especially with the recent statistics on obesity and diabetes among youngsters. I hope to somehow introduce movement-based education for kids as Luc gets a little older.

Do you see a place in your business to incorporate that sensibility?

Definitely. I don’t have a clear picture of it yet. It’s like anything: You learn to brush your teeth early so that your teeth won’t fall out of your head. You learn to pay attention to how you move early on in your life and you have a better chance of moving with ease and less stress as you age. The sense of self that emerges as people move better is quite astonishing to witness.

If I were to call you in a couple of years, is there a good chance you would have classes and you’d say, bring Oliver?

Well, we have one for teens we just started this winter, so I think that’s probably the beginnings of it. I don’t know what it will look like. You never know what will grow out of an inspired idea. There was one woman recently I was quite inspired by. She [Mary Gordon] is the founder of Roots of Empathy [see note below]. She started with this program where parents, usually mothers, would take babies into classrooms of seven or eight years old, I can’t remember how old the kids are, maybe it’s a little bit older than that. And they’d watch the baby develop over a year. The purpose of the program is to expose kids to situations that require empathy and care. The stats are outstanding. school boards have seen bullying go down by 90% at some schools. There are over 100,000 kids in Ontario alone in this program.

It sounds so amazing and so simple, too.

Exactly! It really came out of wanting to help people, and especially kids, learn to care about other people.

That’s a rather inspiring example, and everyone can apply it to their own circumstances. There are kids in our neighbourhood, and I could see if I could get them to play with Oliver. We could effect the same objective in a microcosmic way.

Absolutely.

What would you say are your biggest challenges related to being a mother and being a businessperson?

[Long pause] It’s so typical, I think everyone would say, just fitting it all in, and just being okay with the fact that it doesn’t, it just doesn’t all fit, you know, and you can just do what you can do.

Sometimes, the biggest thing could be inside your head.

Most definitely.

It’s kind funny to think of it that way.

I think it boils down to just trusting that it will all work out the way it is supposed to in the end. I have found myself thinking this way more and more over the last few years. It’s so liberating because it cuts down on the anxiety of whether something is done or not done. As long as you try your best, there is not much more you can ask of yourself. Adults need to be more like kids and enjoy life for what it is, rather than worrying about what it is not.

Are you planning to have more kids?

I’m not sure. Part of me would love to, but if we have another one, I would like to have more time to be home, so it will really depend on that. I absolutely love having one and I’d love to have more. My husband really cherishes one. So I don’t know. We’ll see.

Margot, thanks for your time, and best wishes personally and professionally!

For more information on Body Harmonics: www.bodyharmonics.com.

For more information on Roots of Empathy: www.rootsofempathy.org.