LOGO : Site title

Imagine a 30-something-year-old mom with 2 kids living in the suburbs, who commutes to work to downtown Toronto and who cannot drive. You must be thinking Nah, that cannot be – everybody drives.

Well, I can tell you that was my case up until about one week ago, when I got my G2 driver’s license. I had first taken some in-car driving lessons in Romania about 8 years ago, and trust me, driving a standard car in Bucharest is worse than driving in Paris! I didn't get my license in Romania before I came to Canada and that's a good thing, because it counted for nothing in Ontario, anyway.

I tried again and took some in-car lessons about 3 years ago, but then I got pregnant with my second son and I thought it was not a good idea to learn to drive while pregnant. So finally, about two months ago, I again tried my hand at driving, only this time it was because I really had to. Up until now my husband was the driver in the family, but now that he is doing his medical residency, which is five years, you can well imagine he can no longer be the only driver.

 

(illustration by Julie Blencowe) I called up some driving schools in Burlington to find out what the rates were. I liked two of them and decided to pick the cheapest one. Bad choice – the instructor would not let me use the side mirrors. During the first hour I thought it was because he really wanted me to concentrate on the rear-view mirror and the blind spots, but come lesson number 5, same thing – no side mirrors. That was when I nearly had an accident because a driver that was supposed to stop at a regular stop sign (not a stop-all-way) before crossing my lane on the main road to turn left, did not really see me. Thank God the instructor swerved and we ended up on the divider of the four-lane road.

The other bad thing about this particular instructor was that he kept telling me to speed up when going around sharp curves. Naturally, I kept braking and felt uncomfortable going at 50 km/h in a curve where the posted yellow sign said 30 km/h. That's when I decided to switch driving schools.

I took five more hours with a different instructor from a different school and after the first hour he told me I was handling the car pretty well. That made me feel more confident about my driving abilities. After the five hours he said I would pass the test.

You must be thinking, Nah, that cannot be – everybody drives in Toronto.

Mind you, that is not what my husband kept telling me! He is a very good driver, and I have learned a lot from him, but he is not very good at being patient. And from what I have heard from other people, he is not the only husband frustrated with his wife’s driving.

Parking is still a challenge for me, especially perpendicular (pull-in) parking. I find it a lot easier to back into a parking spot than to pull in. The easiest way, of course, is to pull in and then advance through to the space in front, so you can pull out of the parking space and not have to back out. The other thing I hate about driving is changing lanes in rush-hour traffic. Every time I get the car keys and sit behind the wheel I get a big knot in my stomach and I keep wondering: will it ever go away? I certainly hope so.

But let me get back to my learning to drive – I finally scheduled my test. The night before, I went out with my husband to practice my parking skills. This was not a good idea. It made me think I would never ever pass a driving test.

I woke up the next morning and felt just a little bit more confident. The examiner  looked like a very nice guy. He explained to me how the test worked and then we started: back out to the right, oops, car coming, stop and yield the right of way, then turn right, stop sign, count to three, go, another right, another stop sign, count to three again, another right, now at a red light, stop, look, road is clear, go, then oops, lane is ending, change lanes, turn right, turn left, parallel park, almost hit the curve, move the car back and forward to make it parallel to the curb, it is almost parallel, I am going to fail, go again, pull over, do an uphill park with a curb, go again, pull over, make a 3-point-turn, street is wide enough for the van, thank God, go back, turn right, yield sign, do not stop, slow down, look, go, then we were pulling back into the examination centre parking lot.

So I was thinking that I had failed and this guy did not feel safe to drive with me, so he was taking me back in. I pull in and then he said “I am going to give you your license, but pay more attention when you parallel park.” At first I did not realize what he was saying, so I had to ask him, “You mean, I have passed?” Then he said “Yes” and the only thing I could mutter was “Oh my God, thank you so much!”

I grabbed the yellow piece of paper that he gave me and started running towards the Drive Test Centre, so proud of myself and so excited that I did not watch where I was going and fell. When I finally saw my husband waiting patiently inside the centre, I had blood literally dripping from my knee and elbow. I happily told him the good news, and he asked about my knee. We went back to the car and while he tended to my wounds, I grabbed my cell phone and called almost everyone I know to share my achievement. I still remember how nervous I was before the test, and it felt exactly like the university entrance examination that I took in Bucharest about 15 years ago.

So now I have been driving for about a week. I am still nervous behind the wheel, but everyone tells me it is natural. I still have not gotten used to the idea that I can go shopping without having to plan for it and persuade my husband to drive me. It is incredible how much freedom you get with one simple thing. But with it comes a lot of responsibility, too – for your life, for the lives of people in your car and for other people on the road. I cannot drive if somebody is talking to me (I politely tell them to keep their mouth shut, even my kids) and I cannot drive with the radio on. So for family trips, my husband will still be the family driver - at least then we can talk to each other and we can listen to music.

I guess the best thing about being able to drive is that now I can just drop off my children (Daniel – 4, and Gabriel – almost 2) at daycare in the morning and pick them up when I finish work. I used to take them on my bike (one in the bike seat and one in the trailer). Mind you, I have tried having them both in the trailer and all I could hear was their screaming. But it was raining outside and I had no other option but to have them under cover. That happened to me a couple of times and at that point I decided I really, really had to get my driver's license. 

The funny thing is that I behave differently with them when I am behind the wheel. I have taught them not to talk to me when I drive. When they do scream, it does not bother me at all. I somehow seem to manage to put that at the back of my mind, probably because I am so focused on driving. If I am stopped at a red light, I can talk to them, but I hardly ever turn towards them. One of the safe things that my husband taught me is to put my car in park if I want to turn towards them and give them something. It might sound silly to you, but he actually treated an old lady who was in the hospital because when she was trying to pay for parking at a machine, she leaned forward so much that she accidentally took her foot off the brake. Better be safe than sorry…

When my husband drives, however, my children get my undivided attention. I talk to them, I sing to them, I give them water, food, toys, and anything they could possibly want. What we really need is a DVD player for longer trips! We went to Wasaga Beach on the Saturday of the Civic Holiday week-end – not a great idea. The 400 was so busy that we ended up going on smaller highways (which were not busy at all), but it still took us about 2.5 hrs to get there from Burlington (usually it is 1.5 hrs). Thank God we had the Vtech portable game consoles, and about 10 different game cartridges to go with them. It kept them quiet for a while…

I keep my driving to a minimum, though. I like the fact that I can take my kids anywhere around town,  and that I can finally take them to soccer, basketball and other activities without having to depend on my husband. I still feel relieved when I pull into the driveway safe and sound – that feeling will probably be there for quite some time. And knowing myself, it may never go away!