Growing up, December 25th always followed a similar pattern. After sleeping in, we would go to my favourite Chinese restaurant on Eglinton, where all my friends and their families were also eating brunch. We would socialize, eat and then, en masse, head to the movies to see the latest blockbuster release. After, we would head home for dinner and family time. There were no chestnuts roasting on an open fire, no Santa Claus and no tree with tinsel. We celebrated Hanukah.
My husband, on the other hand, had a completely different tradition. Along with his younger brother, Tim would be up at the crack of dawn, eager to see what treasures lay beneath the tree. Together, the boys would run to the living room and furiously open their presents. The morning was filled with food and new toys. The afternoon was spent snowmobiling or frolicking in the snow. Dinner was always a delicious meal of juicy dumplings filled with double smoked bacon. No one-present-a-night for eight nights, it was all at once. He celebrated Christmas.
When Tim and I met, religion was not something we discussed. We talked about our dreams, if we wanted to have kids, and how sailing would play a vital role in our lives. But religion? Not a word. It never really occurred to us to discuss how we would raise our children. Neither one of us spends much time in a Synagogue or Church and even our wedding was performed by a Justice of the Peace. So, you see, religion was not top of mind.
I want my kids to have the best of both worlds, but more importantly, the best of both religions.But with kids comes a realization that you are part of something bigger. So now that our children are two and four, and know all about Santa and the Easter Bunny, it is time to start the religion talk. Not with the offspring so much, but between us adults. How do you explain religion? What words do you use to describe Hanukah and Christmas? And how do you make them both sound exciting and special? I want my kids to have the best of both worlds, but more importantly, the best of both religions.
This year, we are heading east to be with our families for the holidays. First stop is Toronto where we will be with my side to celebrate the last few nights of Hanukah. Afterwards, we travel to Brockville, where Christmas will be welcomed with the Lochner clan. I am hoping this may be a beginning, might be a start in explaining how one family can believe in two separate things.
But perhaps I am taking the easy road. Eight candles or one tree are symbols, not an explanation. So, I am back to my question – how do I explain religion to my kids? How do you explain that Mommy believes one thing, Daddy another, and together as a family, we believe in both?
How do you explain that Mommy believes one thing, Daddy another, and together as a family, we believe in both?I think the answer lies with family and tradition. I think what we will do this year is celebrate both holidays and show our children how, as a family, we can come together and enjoy the season. We will try to keep it non-denominational. Yes, my daughter and son will light the Hanukiah. Yes, they will hear the blessings on the candles. And yes, they will receive gifts afterwards. But they will also visit Santa at the mall, wake up on Christmas morning and open presents, and they will wish people a Merry Christmas. At the end of the month, they will have spent time with family and in a subtle way learned about our beliefs. Oh and yes, they will have received a lot of presents!
So you see I am still not sure how in future years we will address this issue. But for now, we are going to focus on tradition and family. We are going to show our children that people may have different beliefs, but they can still respect and learn from one another. We are going to teach our children that in our multicultural society, people with different beliefs are free to express themselves.
Season greetings, and enjoy the holiday time, regardless of what you celebrate.Rate this article: |
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Filed under: chinese food, christianity, christmas, church, family travels, hanukah, holidays, judaism, presents, synagogue |
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Heather Lochner, together with her two children, husband and dog, lives year round on her sailboat in Vancouver. She is a freelance writer and a part-time stay-at-home mother. When not at work or school, the Lochners are our cruising the coastal waters of BC.
Comments (1)
Mike Hymanson says: Heather,
What a very pertinent topic for today's family and a loving and balanced outlook you have. In a world where old traditions still hold fast and are too often manifested as stifling and binding "rules", you have cut through the dogma of religion and chosen to live with only that which will open your children's hearts to unconditional love, which is of course the essence of who we all are beyond our born religion.
By celebrating out differences, we are honouring our oneness.
Great article.
Mike Hymanson
Posted 11 weeks 3 days ago