LOGO : Site title

Mother’s Day 2008

W ell, time flies when you’re having fun. It’s been a year already since last Mother’s Day. This year I’m a definitely a mom, instead of just definitely pregnant and sort of a mom-in-waiting. It’s a whole lot easier being a mom when your baby still lives inside you, and your body takes care of the food, disposal of said food, there’s no clothes or diapers, no wondering if he’s too hot or cold, plus it’s a lot quieter. I wonder if that’s why women say, mostly after the fact “I loved being pregnant. I could have been pregnant forever!” You don’t catch a lot of women nearing the 10th month of pregnancy placidly saying they wish it could go on forever. Well, only as a way of putting off labour indefinitely, I guess. I myself thought, “Gee, ‘member how lovely it was when I was pregnant?”, the other day when we had to make a hasty exit from Starbucks (seriously, I am addicted, it’s a problem) when Junior wouldn’t stop screaming at the top of his lungs. I felt compelled to apologize on our way out to the two middle-aged men reading the paper at tables near us who were undoubtedly inwardly cursing us, but politely insisted it was “fine.” But I digress.

I looked back at my thoughts on Mother’s Day from last year to see how or if my mind frame was different. Back in 2007 B.C. (before child) I was concerned about my lack of knowledge and skills in varied areas, and it was interesting to see that most of them were related to things I probably won’t have to worry about for years to come. Schoolyard bullies, gum removal from hair, sewing curtains, explaining where you go when you die and teenagers breaking curfew are all things I’ve got some time to put off dealing with. My concern about what to do when the baby won’t stop crying was the only one that I actually had to deal with this year (rectal temperature taking got a pass since we got a thermometer that goes in the ear instead of the other end). And luckily that only happened less than a handful of times, although as recently as last week, strangely.

It was interesting that some of the things I thought would happen “naturally” were some of the ones I really struggled with. Like breastfeeding and sleep issues. And just in the last few weeks or so, eating. Junior’s, not mine. But I’m figuring things out as I go. That’s one of the things I’ve learned since becoming a mom: you figure things out and you cope with problems as they arise, not because you’re necessarily skilled or naturally gifted, but because you have to. And most of the time, if the solution you come up with doesn’t work, you get a chance to fix it, or it resolves itself with time when Junior moves on to a different stage. That or you find something else to worry about and your original problem seems less important.

The other thing I’ve learned is that all the moms I’ve met in the last 10 months worry about similar things. No matter how different we may be, whether those I aspire to be like, or those I wish to distance myself from, we all have concern for our kids in common, and we all have moments when you want to run and hide. It’s like being in a new club, where you recognize other members not with a complicated handshake but a sympathetic look in the grocery store at another mom whose toddler is having a meltdown because he wasn’t allowed to grab at a teetering display rack. As a new member, I’ve received untold support and assistance from my fellow moms, both new themselves and veterans, so to speak, including my own mom. And it’s helped immensely.

So to my fellow members of the Mom’s Club, Happy Mother’s Day! You’re doing a great job, and it shows.