LOGO : Site title

On Mother‘s Day four years ago, my whole life changed. It was the day that I joyfully found out that I was going to become a mom for the first time, but it was also, sadly, the last time I would spend Mother’s Day with my own Mom.

Mother’s Day 2008

W hen I think about Mother's Day, I usually think about my cake, and all the presents that I'm going to get.

O ne of my most fondly remembered Mother’s Days occurred long before I became a mother. The year Larry and I got married, our wedding day fell on the day before Mother’s Day. I’m sure neither of us realized the proximity until our own special day loomed on the horizon. At that time in our lives, parenthood seemed like a quaint idea that maybe we’d pursue when we got other stuff out of our systems. But when we started to focus on the more logistical issues related to our wedding, we realized there was an opportunity that we should act on.

A s Mother’s Day approaches, I have to say I haven’t really been paying attention. I’ve thought a couple of times about needing to get a card for my mother and mother-in-law, and maybe a book for my mom. But it’s been brought to my attention that I will be a mother myself in about six weeks' time and that this day might have some particular relevance to me.

In thinking about what Mother’s Day means to me I’ve realized I don’t know. But it’s got me thinking about what being a mother means to me. And that’s really complicated.

Mama Koch enjoying a beach read: Because moral barometers need to relax, too. (photo by Larry Koch)

N o one in my family would accuse my mother of being a rabble-rouser or someone who makes a fuss of any kind. She’s always been a cautious sort of person, aware of the limitations of any situation and highly averse to conflicts of any kind. A less apparent characteristic of hers, though, is a strong sense of fairness that sometimes emerges when she feels someone is getting a raw deal. This is a trait that I am starting to see in myself, although I am probably more drawn to compromise.